This blog will be about the different resources that are available and some things I have found helpful.
I have read several books lately and they each in their own way offer nuggets of inspiration.  The #1 book I recommend is "Being Mortal" by Atol Gawande.  He is a surgeon from India and addresses the "golden years" concerns from places to reside to the physical end of life issues, and gives case studies for each to keep it interesting. Every physician and medical student should be required to read this book.
The second book is "The 36-Hour Day" by Nancy L. Mace,  MAand Peter V. Rabins, MD. It is "a family guide to caring for people who have Alzheimer's disease, related dementias, and memory loss."
The third book is "Come back early today" by Marie Marley.  It is her story about how she cared for her significant other.  They lived in Cincinnati, Ohio, but then after his death she moved to Leawood, Ks., and is a grant writer for the American Academy of Family Physicians.  One statement she made in the book particularly struck me.  It said "It is one thing to know they can't help it, but another to stand there and take it."
Another resource for me, and please don't laugh, is Facebook.  It makes me feel connected to the world, when things in the world at home don't make sense.  But when we watch the news, I think the whole world has gone crazy!
I also "like" the Alzheimer's Reading Room on Facebook and read their posts.  One post recently said to "Start living your life the way you always did."  I would like to revise that to "Keep living your life the way you always did."  They say to merge the world he lives in with the world you live in and try to make concessions to each.  Easier said than done, I might add.
The GPS that I got for him to keep in his pocket that has an app to my phone so I could track him if he would start to wander has been fairly successful.  But I told him never to push the button that is the panic button, as I can see him pressing it and telling the responder he wanted to order a pizza.  But he has pushed it a couple of times "just to see if it works", and a nice young man has always answered.  Fortunately I have been there both times to talk to the man, or the conversation could have gone on for hours....I think now I have impressed on him not to touch it.  He has also lost the medic alert bracelet, and I have looked for it for days, but finally ordered another one.  He hides things to keep them safe.  I tried to get in his world like the Alzheimer's Reading Room said, and ask, "Now if I were him, where would I have hidden it??"  But that didn't work!
He hasn't started to wander at all yet, but the other evening wanted to come to my yoga class with me.
I told him no, I was just going to yoga.  He said, "Well, I could sit in the audience."  I am sure the yogis in the room would appreciate that!  Especially if he started to whistle at them!
Last, but not least, is the support of family and friends.  Last weekend a couple that we have known for years, and worked with at the hospital came to visit for the weekend.  The husband also has Alzheimer's about the same stage as Bob.  The wife was able to go to the support group with me, and really enjoyed it.  The social worker that leads it looks like a young thing that shouldn't leave her mother, but she is very knowledgeable about the resources in this area and it is a great group.  A very quiet little man that always comes and brings treats shared this time that he watches girly movies to keep his mind off "things" and he had everyone in stitches!  Then he sweetly turned to the man next to him whose turn it was to speak and said, "Top that!"  The laughter started again--very therapeutic, I will say!  And that was one of his resources!  Anyway, back to our friends visit.  The husband never has talked much, but he was patient enough to sit and have Bob talk at him for hours.  Thank you Len!  And it gave the ladies time to talk, and share our stories!

And the greatest resource of all:

God has not promised skies always blue,
flower-strewn pathways all our lives through,
God has not promised sun without rain,
joy without sorrow, peace without pain.

But God has promised, strength for the day,
rest for the labor, light for the way,
Grace for the trials, help from above,
unfailing sympathy, undying love.

-Annie Johnson Flint

Whoever  you are, whatever trials you face (they might be totally different from mine)
Hang in there, my friend.
Betty