It has been a long time since I last posted, and if you remember,  I said the grandkids were coming, and I knew it would be a busy time!  They were here for 5 days and then I put Pop Pop in Brookdale Shawnee as planned.  I took them with me so they could see where he would be.  I think it was good for them.  Then we did fun things like going to Royals games that we couldn't do when Bob was at home.  Our son Ron and the 2 older ones left, as I was going on a road trip to my niece's wedding, and knew I couldn't handle all 3.  The older ones had a turn when we took them to the nephew's wedding in Boston.  But now it was 6 year old Libby's turn.  We stayed in town for a week and did things she wanted to do.  We went to see Pop Pop every day, and played board games together while we were there which he enjoyed watching.  I was glad we stayed in town for a week as there were issues with changing his Depends.  In my last post I mentioned they had assigned him to Larry and that worked well, but then Larry had days off.  Bob wouldn't let the females help him.  He just told them to get away from him, and he meant it!  So I discussed the problem with the staff, and when Larry was off, they would get a male from another wing to help Bob.  His strict upbringing would not allow a female to see him naked!  Except for his wife thankfully!
Libby and I traveled over 3,000 miles on the trip to upper Michigan.  She is the best little traveler, and we had the best time!  We mostly didn't go over 400 miles a day, so we climbed sand dunes, and explored to our heart's content!  There was only one trip malfunction.  We were in a fairly good sized town where I wanted to show her a lighthouse.  Suddenly the car started making a buzzing sound.  It sounded like the transmission, but I put it in every gear and it still kept on.  I turned the car off.  The buzzing continued.  We were getting ready to go to remote areas, so I told Libby we weren't leaving that town until we found the source.  We got out and walked around the car.  We followed the sound to Libby's suitcase where we found her automatic toothbrush had somehow gotten turned on....I was certainly glad I didn't have to go to a service station to have a MAN find that!!
The driving was so therapeutic for me, and I enjoyed being in the world!  Dear friends had checked on Bob frequently and would Facebook, text, or email me so I knew he was doing OK.  I emailed Brookdale and they responded that getting him to go to bed at night was hit or miss, but it is that way at home as well.  But his feet and legs were very swollen when I picked him up.  A couple of days of support hose and keeping them elevated helped that.  The next day when I asked how his stay at Brookdale was, he couldn't remember being there.  Everyone said he was always content and seemed happy when they saw him.
It has settled down to a routine since we have been home.  That said, there is really no such thing as a routine with someone with Alzheimer's.  Each day is a new normal.  He kept telling me there were women in our bedroom closet when we got home.  I told him I dared them to come out; I would take care of them.  It still amazes me how different phases fade away, only to be replaced by something else, then the former pattern will return.  Gone is the day where he carried at least 10 ballpoint pens in his jacket pocket.  He is now layering his shirts.  The record is the day he had five shirts on, plus his jacket.  My mantra is, "If he isn't hurting himself or anyone else, let it be.  Don't sweat the small stuff." But he IS sweating with all those shirts on, and I can't get him to take any or the jacket off!  At least he is in the house with air conditioning, and I just keep him hydrated.  I do hope you don't think I am making fun of Bob in these blogs, but I want to convey a bit about what living with an Alzheimer's person is like.  You have to try to keep your sense of humor, or you are in trouble, and so are they.  Ann, I was trying to get him to brush his teeth the other day, and he told me he didn't have teeth any more.  You know how fastidious he used to be about dental hygiene.  You commented on my last blog where he said he couldn't find his teeth.  I guess now I should cancel his upcoming appointment if he doesn't have any teeth!
Some of you know how I agonized about putting Bob in respite care.  But then one of our friends told me something I had forgotten.  We were sitting on the couch in their home, and we told them of Bob's diagnosis.  Bob told them he was just worried about me, and what would happen to me.  Then Valerie our daughter also told me this story:  He told her, "You know I am being tested for Alzheimer's.  It doesn't matter what happens with me, as I won't know it is happening.  Please just take care of your mother, and don't let anything happen to her."
 People outside your life cannot understand that you have not simply lost one person dear to you at one point in time.  You have lost their presence in every aspect of your life.  Your Future has changed as well as your Now.  So I am trying to do what Bob would want me to do, and doing the best I can for both of us.  I just pray every day that God will guide me as we travel into what the future holds.
Thank you for reading this, and thank you for your love and understanding,
Betty