It is a beautiful fall afternoon and the leaves are turning gorgeous colors, so I am inspired to write this months blog. I have been surrounded by Alzheimer's this past month, so needed to get out in nature today. I sat in freezing and rainy weather this morning at grandson Jaden's soccer game. What grandparents won't do for their grandchildren!
The first Alzheimer's occasion was when a member of the support group finally was able to have the service for her beloved husband. Because of COVID, she was sitting outside the window to his room on their 50th anniversary, and he died the next day. Then because of COVID restrictions and family not being able to travel, she was unable to have closure until this month. The service was at a beautiful venue in the woods and she had time to have everything as she wanted it to be.
The second and third occasions was when 2 special couples came through and stopped in Kansas City on their way to new lives and new homes near their family so they could have the help and support they needed. One of the couples used to come and stay with us one weekend a month so she could go to the support group with me. We had such wonderful times; Bob was still home when we started doing this and he really enjoyed the interaction as well. The support group gave us an idea of what was down the road.
That support group has altogether changed. During COVID most of the couples lost their spouses; the sons and daughters lost their parents, some due to COVID and some to natural progression of the disease. They all came to the first in person meeting we were allowed to have and said their emotional goodbyes. We had become a family. Typically by Alzheimer's Association guidelines they are supposed to move on to a grief group which some of them did, others remained with the group for awhile and our coordinator graciously allowed them to do so. Now they have formed a lunch group which they have invited me to be a part of. We meet once a month just to have fun. I still go to the original support group, now the oldest in terms of how long I have been attending. It is heartbreaking to see new attendees sobbing their hearts out, realizing they now can get help when they had no clue of what to do or how to begin going down this path. Our coordinator is such a helpful resource to get them started. I pray the couples that stopped here will find support groups as wonderful as this one. But one warning--I attended a couple before I found one I was comfortable with.
Bob is about the same. He lost 2 more pounds last month. His teeth are breaking off down to the gumline in the front. I don't know what that is about, but I heard the dentist in the hall one day and grabbed him to come in and look at Bob. He said there wasn't much he could do. I thought about getting his teeth cleaned, but he won't open his mouth for food, so why would he open his mouth for that?! When I brush his teeth with an electric toothbrush, he doesn't act like they hurt him at all, so I am not going to worry about it. Pain is not what is keeping him from eating. Daughter Valerie and her husband came to see him and he ate the homemade pumpkin bread she brought with only a little urging!
In this season of thanksgiving I would like to leave you with a quote I got from the "Grace and Mercy" website. "Life is so short. We spend so much time sweating the small stuff, worrying, complaining, gossiping, comparing, wishing, wanting and waiting for something bigger and better instead of focusing on all the simple blessings that surround us everyday. Life is so fragile and all it takes is a single moment to change everything you take for granted. Focus on what's important and be grateful! You are blessed! Believe it! Live your life and leave no regrets."
And finally, I would like to thank all the friends and family who are supporting me day after day. I had no idea it would be this long of a journey. I thought the end was coming this summer. But I just ask God to please not let Bob suffer, and Bob appears comfortable, and I am thankful for that.
Love to all of you,
Betty
