Bob has been at his new residence, Hillside Village, for almost a month now.  Oh, and now that I have been exploring around the town of De Soto, Kansas (not Missouri!) I think I know why it is called Hillside Village.  The whole town is on a hillside above the Kansas River.  I love little towns, but Bob liked the big city.  So it is ironic that he is now living in a little town, and I live more in a city!  He is getting along so well.  I am so sad that I didn't think about this before, as it had been talked about, but never acted on before.  He was on the medication Resperidone for agitation.  It was mentioned by the director of nursing when he first moved to The Piper that it probably should be weaned off, but then she quit, and it never was addressed again.  When he was admitted to Hillside Village, immediately they asked if they could wean it off, as they didn't like their residents being on that type of medication.  I readily agreed, and now it seems that Bob has become more alert, more talkative, and isn't sleeping as much.  Plus he really reacts to the friendly staff. 
I am going to talk about one more interaction with The Piper, and then I will forever move on from that subject.  Right about the time I had told them I was moving Bob, an article was posted on their Facebook page about conflict resolution.  I found it rather strange that it happened at the same time, but they assured me that an independent company took care of such.  One paragraph stated that "the residents may be perfectly happy where they are, but it is the families that are not."  I submit that Bob could not have told me if he was unhappy, so I had to be the advocate and use my powers of observation to perceive what was going on.  Another paragraph:  "It is important to move slowly so that decisions are not made from an emotional state."  I had made excuses for the way things were for a long time, had made complaints, but nothing ever changed, just got progressively worse.  Another statement was that they could not force the residents to shower.  Yes, I agree.  But when a resident is asked if they want to take a shower, they are always going to say "no".  So then the staff can chart "resident refused" and move on.  And they cannot be dragged in to shower.  If the staff has proper dementia care training, and approach the resident the right way, maybe several times the same morning, and make a game of it, they would have better success. 
I asked for an appointment with the owner of The Piper.  I took 2 dear friends along, who had also observed for themselves what was going on, with the lack of staff.  We all talked for over 2 hours, and the owner paid very close attention.  I truly think he had no idea how bad it had become.  At the end I told him that I hoped he would take what we said to heart, and make changes.  He said "I will."  As a sidelight, the article on Facebook on conflict resolution was taken down the next day.  As I have said before, he has his job cut out for him.  All these beautiful facilities are being built all over town with no one to staff them. 
Let's go  back at Hillside Village.  They told me one day when I went out that they had put Bob on the toilet and he had had a large stool.  When I voiced how happy I was to hear that, the young man said simply "It's all about dignity."  I remember when my mother was in the nursing home here in town.  I came in one day to check on her as I did regularly.  She was crying and I asked why.   She said she would ask them to put her on the bedpan.  They would tell her just to go in her diaper as it was easier to clean up.  Yes, it is all about dignity.  And the following incident happened at the hospital where I worked.  I was a team leader one night and asked my CNA to go give a patient some water as she was unable to get to it herself.  The CNA told me she wasn't going to do that till end of shift as the patient would wet herself, and then she would have to change the bed.  I will leave you to imagine all I said, but it was along the lines of "I can't believe you just said that to me..."
I would like to suggest that you can "train" a person thoroughly in classes, but true caring comes from the heart. 
The Director of Nursing at Hillside Village, Peg Wessel, was presented an award Thursday at the facility for excellence in nursing.  Nurses from the Kansas state legislature were there, and there was a nice little party with the residents and families with cake and punch.  If anyone deserves it, she does, as she leads by example. 
In case you hadn't heard, the Kansas City Chiefs won the Superbowl!  The whole city was ecstatic and came together to celebrate.  Why can't this kind and gentler spirit last the rest of the year???
In the meantime, please be kinder than necessary. (per Suzel!)
Betty