In my last post, I left off where I was leaving Bob in respite care and traveling to see the grandkids in St. Louis and Nashville.  There were many occasions to celebrate, and many "firsts" on this trip.  The occasions to celebrate were our son Ron's 50th birthday, and we went on the General Jackson showboat in Nashville and enjoyed dinner and the show on the boat.  Then it was on to Halloween in Chattanooga, and the grandkids there like Halloween as much as I do!  I was a big witch, and 7 year old Libby was a little witch, complete with a black tutu her sister Emme made for her.  The next day was Emme's birthday--#13.  I now have 2 teenage grandchildren as Nate is 15, and Jaden is fast approaching teenage years.  Lord, help us!  It was quite unbelievable that we have a 50 year old son....The "firsts" on this trip were that I stayed in a hotel room by myself for the first time, and ate at a restaurant by myself for the first time.  It was weird asking for a table for one, but it was an outdoor restaurant in a gorgeous setting at Rock City where I could take pictures, so I was very content.  When I came home, I stayed one night in our big creaking home by myself for the first time in many years.  I was suddenly aware of the thought that this must be like being a widow.  I have many friends who are, I am sure that no matter how emotionally prepared you think you are, it must be much different when it is a reality.  But they are surviving, and I know I will as well.  But in the meantime, I am going to enjoy the time I have left with Bob.
 I was a little more apprehensive about leaving Bob this time, as the unit he is usually in for day stay, and where they know him, was full, so he had to be on another wing.  But they were going to have Larry, who is so good with him, come over from the other wing and do his cares.  I had taken Bob in on a Sunday morning, and the lady at the front desk showed us to his room, which wasn't ready, bed unmade, etc.  They assured me they would find the linen, and make the bed, so I unpacked, and then took Bob out to the dining/community area where there were several staff around.  I introduced myself, and said I was Bob's wife, and this was Bob, and he was going to be here for respite care.  I was met only by grunts. I settled him in an easy chair, and tried again.  Again, only grunts.  It would have meant so much if someone had smiled, come over and greeted me, and welcomed Bob.  It didn't happen, so I gave Bob a kiss, told him lunch would be soon, and I would be back in a few days, and then I left.  I walked out the front door and who should I run into but Kathy Nealey, one of my many favorite night shift workers at the hospital.  Her mother had been at Brookdale.  She gave me a big hug, and I burst into tears.  The director came out at that moment waving a paper I had forgotten to sign, so she saw me crying.  I determined we would have a little chat when I was not so emotional! When I got back, I saw her in her office, and since her door is always open, I stopped in, and asked how Bob handled the stay.  I told her why I was crying the day I left, and I could tell she was embarrassed.  Then I told her that I had taught a class at Shawnee Mission Medical Center, called "The Spirit of Caring".  Every employee had to take the class, so it was an ongoing thing for quite awhile.  I told her that now that I had a loved one receiving care, and that the shoe was one the other foot, I would love to come and just give a talk to the employees.  I told her I had worked in Labor and Delivery for 3 years before I had a baby, and I loved my job and gave the patients excellent care.  But there was another factor after I had a baby myself, and that was empathy.  After that, I was able to give even better care!  I don't know if that talk will happen, but this unit just didn't seem as friendly as the previous one he was in.  Anyway, the director and I started laughing as she related a story about Bob.  One day she saw him racing by her open door.  He was pushing his friend (another resident also named Larry) in a wheelchair, and Larry had a panic-stricken look on his face.  Bob was pushing him very fast, and Larry's shoes were catching on the carpet.  The director called out to Bob, and he turned long enough to say "F*** you" and kept on going.  She ran after Bob and told him that he was missing a committee meeting, and he stopped immediately and said "Really?"  She was able to divert him away from Larry, and she took him down to the library!
The afternoon I got back they called from Brookdale, and said Bob had fallen.  I asked if I needed to come, as I had planned to rest that night and pick him up the next morning. They said no, he got right up, and seemed fine.  So I went home and went to bed and slept for 11 hours.  If the bogey men came to get me, I wouldn't have known about it!  I brought him home, and he immediately fell asleep in the chair.  He seemed so weak and unsteady.  He fell twice in the next 2 days, once on the garage floor.  I even got him a walker, but he walked around the house holding it over his head with one hand!  But it has been over a week now, and he has slept a lot of the time, one morning till 10am which is unheard of!  They said he had not slept much there, and wouldn't usually go to bed (which I still have trouble getting him to bed as well), so I think he was just exhausted. He hasn't fallen again, and seems to have more strength.  The walker is in the garage.  Many thanks to friends Harry and Gail Janke,  Drew and Joanne Bodner and Douglas Elsey for going to check on him while he was in Brookdale and eased my mind by giving me reports.
As we approach the Thanksgiving holiday I would like to leave you with a quote from glmidailyinspiration@gmail.com.  This email comes every weekday, and I enjoy it. I will have to admit I am having to work diligently on believing this quote, but I am trying to get to THAT PLACE!
"There IS something miraculous which takes place when we begin to view everything that comes
into our lives with a genuine sense of gratitude and appreciation.  Things that may have previously appeared to us as insurmountable challenges, can now be seen as the opportunities they truly are, rather than problems.  Instead of approaching life with a sense of quiet desperation or dread, we become alive with anticipation of what each new day may hold, bringing inspiration and a sense of peace and calm throughout.  IN THAT PLACE a natural rhythm can be found, where time, chance and circumstance all begin to flow together as naturally as breath itself."
And my favorite Bible verse--"Bless (affectionately, gratefully praise) the Lord, O my soul; and all that is (deepest) within me, bless His holy name!  Bless (affectionately, gratefully praise) the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all His benefits---Who forgives (every one of) all your iniquities, Who heals (each one of) all your diseases.  Psalm 103:1-3 (Amp)
Happy Thanksgiving!
Betty