I have thought long and hard before writing this blog. How much do I tell? Do I even broach the subject? I have consulted with other people. I have made rough drafts. So it is the most difficult blog yet. I was on the ethics committee at the hospital where I worked, but we talked about ventilators and open heart surgeries and more acute things, since that is the setting that a hospital presents. Things like this never came up. And if you are not involved in the medical field at all, you may be as horrified as our kids were when they found out what was going on. But it is serious enough to cause death, and it had caused death in 2 of my friends the week before it happened to Bob. So maybe that is why it was so much on my mind. It is a most indelicate subject, so if you are at all queasy, you might not want to continue. But if I have made you at all curious, plunge right ahead! I finally decided that if my blog is to help others, they need to know that this can and does happen. It is embarrassing, but would have saved some of my friends a lot of grief if they had known. And since the purpose of all my blogs is to tell the true story, I need to be transparent, and not just pick the sweet topics. I have no doubt that Bob would not be alive today if I hadn't intervened. Not that I am so smart, but I have just had experience. And the other patients are more mobile than Bob, so maybe this isn't your usual problem where Bob is. He had never had a problem with this before, so it was a shock, and came out of the blue.
I will not accuse anyone, as some of the nurses didn't know this could happen because they had not had experience with it. But if you have worked in a nursing home setting, you cannot help but know about it. I took nurses training where part of the facility was acute care, and the other half was more like a nursing home, where we got basic nursing skills. So though it had been more than 60 years, I had not forgotten the signs and symptoms of a bowel impaction. Every evening the laxative tray was passed. We called it black and white (or brown cow)---milk of magnesia and cascara cocktails, if you please. Then the next morning it that hadn't worked, the patient was either given an enema or the stool that was impacted in the colon was manually removed. And of course the students got to do that! So when I was notified that Bob was having runny stools, a bell went off in my head. When a stool impaction occurs in the lower colon and isn't emptied, the more liquid stool from the upper colon just runs around it and the stool is continually running out. So I asked if Bob had been checked for an impaction. I was told "no." I asked both hospice and the facility to please do it, but it wasn't done. They said they had to have a doctor's order and then WHO on earth was going to do it? I finally said that well, I didn't have to have a doctor's order, and this little red hen was going to do it herself. I told them that I knew Bob was going to die, but I didn't want him to die of constipation. Everyone was quite taken aback by that proclamation! So I asked them to put Bob in bed, and took another old time nursing friend (who had also done the procedure many times) along with me for support. But with both of us, it had been over 60 years ago! Just as I expected, I found a huge impaction. Now, this makes the term "full of shit" become quite a literal thing. I couldn't reach it all, so then I knew it had to be moved down from the top. I got some prune juice (which doesn't need a doctor's order) and milk of magnesia (which they did get a doctor's order for.)
Thank goodness, I remembered the story a friend told the support group. She was caring for her husband at home, when the very same thing happened. The doctor didn't recognize the classic symptom of the runny stools, and ordered a colonoscopy. The prep from the colonoscopy wasn't enough to move it down, and she was up all night trying to keep things cleaned up. When he went for the colonoscopy the problem of the massive impaction was found. It took 3 weeks of laxatives to get the problem resolved, and then of course they didn't do another colonoscopy!
Let's go back to the aforementioned friends who had died the week before this happened with Bob. I had just been to one of the funerals the week before and her husband told me what happened. His wife's colon had become so full of stool that it had perforated (torn) and although she was taken to surgery, it was too late.
So I was quite frustrated, and 5 days after I had removed the initial impaction, the facility was still talking in a committee meeting about how to solve the problem. To make a long story short, (Ha!) I worked with the med aide on the unit and we developed a program of daily milk of magnesia and prune juice (which works even better when heated) and then every other day remove manually what had moved down. The stool was very hard, but fortunately there was still enough bowel motility to move it. So he is back to being able to do it himself, but as with my friend's husband, it took 3 weeks to accomplish. And we have developed better documentation with a paper chart kept in his room. Formerly they were just charted on the computer where they are out of sight and out of mind. With the other residents it is more difficult to keep track of, as they are more mobile, and if you asked them if they had had a stool today, they wouldn't remember!
I have checked with people that work in nursing homes, and impactions are still removed manually. So the practice is not a prehistoric dinosaur of my day! Eliminating waste is a basic body function along with all the others. I have no doubt Florence Nightingale would have addressed it, but she was busy on the battlefield.
I guess my message and the moral of this story would be to be persistent and don't be afraid to speak up for yourself, or be an advocate for your loved one about any medical problem. I wish the doctor's would listen more, but they have so little time with their patients that they are looking for the quick fix and are not experienced in elder care. There are no quick fixes there! It takes time and patience which Santa does not bring!
And now it is the New Year. My wish for all of you is a very happy, healthy, and regular 2020.
Betty
Sunday, December 29, 2019
Wednesday, November 13, 2019
Bob has had a total of 4 seizures now. He had another one two weeks ago Saturday, and while no one witnessed it, the classic post-seizure symptoms were there--drooling, snoring respirations, and unresponsiveness. This past Saturday he had another episode, and was again unresponsive for 4 hours, but this was unlike any seizure he has ever had. This time there was distinct drooping on the left side of his mouth, but nothing else. His blood pressure was normal, so rather than say he had a stroke, the hospice nurse called it a "neurologic event." Leave it to Bob to mix things up a little. He is getting harder to feed, as he keeps falling asleep while I am trying to feed him. Except when dessert comes, and then he opens his eyes and his mouth, just like a little bird! He is especially partial to ice cream, so ice cream it is!
I would like to share a story that aired on the local news just recently. It is about a man that Kansas City residents will remember well. His name is Dennis Moore and he was a U.S. congressman, who represented Kansas' 3rd district from 1999 to 2011. He worked with several former presidents and helped pass bills for veterans. He was diagnosed in 2012 and his Alzheimer's is now progressing so he was placed in a home last year. I would like to echo some of the sentiments voiced by his wife Stephene (pronounced Stephenie). She says "A lot of times you hear, 'Talk to somebody', but a lot of people will say, 'Oh, I know what you are going through, because my grandmother had Alzheimer's.' They don't know anything about caring for a spouse." So Stephene now spends time with, advocates for and speaks on behalf of caregivers. After all, she understands the stress, financial worries, loss of dreams and grief that accompany the disease. I could not agree with her more. My father had Alzheimer's. Having a spouse with Alzheimer's is a whole different ballgame. She ended the interview by saying, "Take it slow; take every day for what it is. Live in the moment, lower your expectations, be a good advocate and cherish the moment." She says she knows he needs to be in a home where she can get sleep and know that he is safe. She knows she will need stamina for the long years ahead. I share her journey because I too, can relate to what she is experiencing with so many conflicting emotions. Part of me wants to cherish the moments I still have with Bob, and part of me just wants this rollercoaster ride to be over.
But during this season of thankfulness, I would like to express some of the things I am thankful for.
I am happy I can sleep at night.
I am happy that I still have good health and stamina.
I am happy that Bob doesn't know to ask to come home with me when I leave, like Dennis Moore does.
I am so happy I have such a great support group where I can talk to people that are in the same boat.
I am so happy that I have such a great support network of family and friends.
I am thankful for the care that hospice gives me and Bob. What would I do without them?
I am thankful for the facility where Bob resides and for the loving care that he gets each day.
I am thankful for ice cream. Bob likes plain vanilla. Make mine butter pecan or maple walnut!
And yes, I am thankful for, and cherish the moments I still have with Bob.
And I am thankful that there is a faithful, never-changing God in control. Every day begins and ends with His purpose. Every moment of our lives is in His constant care.
Happy Thanksgiving!
Betty
I would like to share a story that aired on the local news just recently. It is about a man that Kansas City residents will remember well. His name is Dennis Moore and he was a U.S. congressman, who represented Kansas' 3rd district from 1999 to 2011. He worked with several former presidents and helped pass bills for veterans. He was diagnosed in 2012 and his Alzheimer's is now progressing so he was placed in a home last year. I would like to echo some of the sentiments voiced by his wife Stephene (pronounced Stephenie). She says "A lot of times you hear, 'Talk to somebody', but a lot of people will say, 'Oh, I know what you are going through, because my grandmother had Alzheimer's.' They don't know anything about caring for a spouse." So Stephene now spends time with, advocates for and speaks on behalf of caregivers. After all, she understands the stress, financial worries, loss of dreams and grief that accompany the disease. I could not agree with her more. My father had Alzheimer's. Having a spouse with Alzheimer's is a whole different ballgame. She ended the interview by saying, "Take it slow; take every day for what it is. Live in the moment, lower your expectations, be a good advocate and cherish the moment." She says she knows he needs to be in a home where she can get sleep and know that he is safe. She knows she will need stamina for the long years ahead. I share her journey because I too, can relate to what she is experiencing with so many conflicting emotions. Part of me wants to cherish the moments I still have with Bob, and part of me just wants this rollercoaster ride to be over.
But during this season of thankfulness, I would like to express some of the things I am thankful for.
I am happy I can sleep at night.
I am happy that I still have good health and stamina.
I am happy that Bob doesn't know to ask to come home with me when I leave, like Dennis Moore does.
I am so happy I have such a great support group where I can talk to people that are in the same boat.
I am so happy that I have such a great support network of family and friends.
I am thankful for the care that hospice gives me and Bob. What would I do without them?
I am thankful for the facility where Bob resides and for the loving care that he gets each day.
I am thankful for ice cream. Bob likes plain vanilla. Make mine butter pecan or maple walnut!
And yes, I am thankful for, and cherish the moments I still have with Bob.
And I am thankful that there is a faithful, never-changing God in control. Every day begins and ends with His purpose. Every moment of our lives is in His constant care.
Happy Thanksgiving!
Betty
Wednesday, September 25, 2019
Bob has had 2 seizures since I wrote my last post. I was there visiting when he had the first one. The only one I knew of before was in April, and I was there to witness that one. It makes me wonder how many he has had that weren't witnessed, or if he has had petit mal (small) seizures when he doesn't respond to me, no matter what I do to try to wake him. The second one he had was when the hospice nurse was there and she called me. When I got there he wouldn't rouse, and had a lot of gurgling in his throat and chest. I was sure he had aspirated, and the nurse in me wanted to suction him! But the next morning he was fine. The surprising part again is that after the seizures he is temporarily more cognizant. One beautiful day I had taken him out on the patio, and it was just the 2 of us there. I asked him if he liked living at the Piper, and he said "It's OK, but you wouldn't like it." Then he put his arm around me and asked, with all the normal inflections in his voice, "How are you doing? Are you doing OK?" Then we went in for lunch and he was moving his placemat all around. I asked what he was doing and he said "I'm up to no good!" The hospice nurse told me when she visited the other day that she was chattering away about nothing and he said "You're boring me!" But yesterday when we were both there again, he was back to not responding to either of us. All this made me curious that maybe the seizure was like an electrical trigger to the brain, that somehow rebooted or rearranged neurons somehow. So I googled if ECT (electrical convulsive therapy) had ever been used for Alzheimer's. It turned out, that it has, and some it made better, and some people it made worse. Since the way they did ECT in the 1960s almost made me quit nursing school, I certainly wouldn't have that done to Bob! But now it is coming back with sedation and paralyzing drugs, so there are no horrible convulsions. And it is being proven as an effective treatment for depression. And there is also the implanted electrodes deep in the brain to treat Parkinson's disease (a form of dementia). Which prompts me to share some of the other "treatments" that are being touted as "cures" with varying rates of success, of course. They are CBD oil (doesn't that cure everything?!), Metformin (yes, the drug used for diabetes!), statins, estrogen, testosterone, curcumin and COQ10, Vitamin D and anti-inflammatory drugs such as ibuprofen and Advil. But let me caution that many of these are controversial, and as with all studies, it seems you can make it prove whatever you want it to prove!
I promised that I would share some of the interesting concepts that Dr. Jane Murray presented to the retired nurse's at the last luncheon. I will also be quoting some of the summaries from Dr. Dale Bredesen's book "The End of Alzheimer's". Dr. Murray says the brain is like a roof with 36 holes. The disease can enter into any one of those holes--there is not one causative factor. Scientists are beginning to see Alzheimer's for what it really is--a fallout of the brain's protective function--rather than what we thought it was--an accumulation of amyloid plaques. Some people have a large accumulation of amyloid plaques, but no evidence of Alzheimer's. Dr. Bredesen says in his book that Alzheimer's occurs in the course of the brain protecting itself from 3 metabolic and lethal threats.
1. Inflammation (from infection, diet or other causes)
2. Decline and shortage of supportive nutrients, hormones, and other brain-supporting molecules.
3. Toxic substances, such as metals or biotoxins (poisons produced by microbes such as molds).
He goes on to say more about inflammation. It can occur when
1. Our immune systems are triggered by the presence of disease-causing pathogens and the immune systems have to keep fighting for so long, amyloids accumulate.
2. When trans-fats are introduced into the body
3. When the intestines are damaged, usually as a result of eating foods containing gluten, dairy or grains. Inflammation is also triggered by consuming a lot of sugar, in which case, insulin resistance is also part of the problem. Extremely high insulin levels lead to our bodies developing a resistance to its effects. And that resistance increases the chances of Alzheimer's in a person. Hence probably why metformin was being tried for the treatment of Alzheimer's? And why Alzheimer's is called diabetes type 3?
SO! What can a person do to plug up some of those 36 holes? My suggestion would be to get a whole new body or at least a new roof! But here are some suggestions both doctors gave:
1. Maintain good dental health and oral hygiene
2. Have a 12-16 hour fasting span between dinner and breakfast
3. Maintain a healthy diet and avoid sugars, such as sugars and candy, as well as starchy foods like white bread, white potatoes, and white bread that cause increased glucose levels. And here I feel guilty. Bob had a sweet tooth, and I loved to bake, and he loved to eat...
4. Take Vitamin D to prevent cognitive degeneration. A ideal measurement of Vitamin D3 is 50-80 ng/ml (Other studies show there is no association)
5. Get adequate sleep and treat sleep apnea. I know this was a problem for Bob. He had trouble sleeping his whole life. I think his brain was constantly thinking of things he needed to get up and do!
6. Engage in an intellectually engaging life. This creates an over-abundance of synapses, enough to lose some to amyloid plaques without feeling it. Luminosity.com is a brain stimulating website.
7. Reduce stress with yoga, meditation or simply taking deep slow breaths. Reducing caffeine and alcohol intake also help.
8. Avoid heavy metals and mold (And I often wonder about pesticides...)
9. This last one I am going to mention blows my mind! Incredibly, low cholesterol puts people more at risk of cognitive impairment than high cholesterol levels. An ideal measurement of total cholesterol for cognitive functioning in a person is more than 150. Evidently why use of statins and the studies that said they caused Alzheimer's was so controversial? Comments?
There are many costly lab tests to determine optimum levels of everything. There is controversy about which things are contributing factors, such as gluten. There is the fact that not just one of the elements provide a "cure". And one must accept that change is not a one day thing! This is just a list to make you think, and hopefully you will come away with something you need to work on changing.
A toast to you! Here's to better total health for all of us!
Or you can just say like my dear friend Mac. "I am 88 years old. I am going to eat whatever the h*** I want!"
Betty
I promised that I would share some of the interesting concepts that Dr. Jane Murray presented to the retired nurse's at the last luncheon. I will also be quoting some of the summaries from Dr. Dale Bredesen's book "The End of Alzheimer's". Dr. Murray says the brain is like a roof with 36 holes. The disease can enter into any one of those holes--there is not one causative factor. Scientists are beginning to see Alzheimer's for what it really is--a fallout of the brain's protective function--rather than what we thought it was--an accumulation of amyloid plaques. Some people have a large accumulation of amyloid plaques, but no evidence of Alzheimer's. Dr. Bredesen says in his book that Alzheimer's occurs in the course of the brain protecting itself from 3 metabolic and lethal threats.
1. Inflammation (from infection, diet or other causes)
2. Decline and shortage of supportive nutrients, hormones, and other brain-supporting molecules.
3. Toxic substances, such as metals or biotoxins (poisons produced by microbes such as molds).
He goes on to say more about inflammation. It can occur when
1. Our immune systems are triggered by the presence of disease-causing pathogens and the immune systems have to keep fighting for so long, amyloids accumulate.
2. When trans-fats are introduced into the body
3. When the intestines are damaged, usually as a result of eating foods containing gluten, dairy or grains. Inflammation is also triggered by consuming a lot of sugar, in which case, insulin resistance is also part of the problem. Extremely high insulin levels lead to our bodies developing a resistance to its effects. And that resistance increases the chances of Alzheimer's in a person. Hence probably why metformin was being tried for the treatment of Alzheimer's? And why Alzheimer's is called diabetes type 3?
SO! What can a person do to plug up some of those 36 holes? My suggestion would be to get a whole new body or at least a new roof! But here are some suggestions both doctors gave:
1. Maintain good dental health and oral hygiene
2. Have a 12-16 hour fasting span between dinner and breakfast
3. Maintain a healthy diet and avoid sugars, such as sugars and candy, as well as starchy foods like white bread, white potatoes, and white bread that cause increased glucose levels. And here I feel guilty. Bob had a sweet tooth, and I loved to bake, and he loved to eat...
4. Take Vitamin D to prevent cognitive degeneration. A ideal measurement of Vitamin D3 is 50-80 ng/ml (Other studies show there is no association)
5. Get adequate sleep and treat sleep apnea. I know this was a problem for Bob. He had trouble sleeping his whole life. I think his brain was constantly thinking of things he needed to get up and do!
6. Engage in an intellectually engaging life. This creates an over-abundance of synapses, enough to lose some to amyloid plaques without feeling it. Luminosity.com is a brain stimulating website.
7. Reduce stress with yoga, meditation or simply taking deep slow breaths. Reducing caffeine and alcohol intake also help.
8. Avoid heavy metals and mold (And I often wonder about pesticides...)
9. This last one I am going to mention blows my mind! Incredibly, low cholesterol puts people more at risk of cognitive impairment than high cholesterol levels. An ideal measurement of total cholesterol for cognitive functioning in a person is more than 150. Evidently why use of statins and the studies that said they caused Alzheimer's was so controversial? Comments?
There are many costly lab tests to determine optimum levels of everything. There is controversy about which things are contributing factors, such as gluten. There is the fact that not just one of the elements provide a "cure". And one must accept that change is not a one day thing! This is just a list to make you think, and hopefully you will come away with something you need to work on changing.
A toast to you! Here's to better total health for all of us!
Or you can just say like my dear friend Mac. "I am 88 years old. I am going to eat whatever the h*** I want!"
Betty
Sunday, August 25, 2019
I am back home from my last trip of the summer. The cats even got in my suitcase when I unpacked, effectively letting me know that I am not going anywhere, anytime soon, without them! I took Granddaughter Libby home after a marvelous summer together. My friend and Bob's longtime secretary Judie went with me. From Chattanooga, TN we went on to Hunstville, AL to see the space center, and then on to Memphis, TN for Elvis week. We just totally unplugged from the world there, and relaxed and enjoyed the festivities for not just a week, but 10 days. We took a day bus trip to Tupelo, Mississippi where Elvis was born and grew up. Tupelo was much bigger than we thought it would be. We enjoyed seeing the house he grew up in, the church where he learned to appreciate music and the hardware store where he bought his first guitar. We made instant friends on the bus with sisters from the UK and did several things together and met up with them the rest of the week.
But now we are home to reality--having to fix our own meals instead of going to the scrumptious buffet every morning for breakfast and hitting the complimentary peanut butter and jellies and bananas and milk and hot chocolate bar every evening in the hotel. We are spoiled!
I went out to see Bob as soon as I could after getting home. The first day he was having one of the days where he was sleepy and wouldn't react to me. I should have had Libby there! She could always get him to respond! But everything was different at The Piper as well. Two of my favorite residents had passed away very unexpectedly while I was gone. One was Bill, the husband of my friend from the support group. I will really miss Sheryl being there, and our happy chats together as we fed "our boys"! The next day I went to see Bob he was awake and told me my hair looked nice. I about fell over! Then he proclaimed loudly "I AM A MAN". I told him "I AM A WOMAN", and he laughed and laughed! BUT! I found out from the staff that they had caught him and Mickey holding hands while I was gone! Mickey is a retired RN (Real Nuts, she told me when she was more cognizant.) At least Bob knows how to pick RNs to care for him! Mickey sits at Bob's table as she has to be fed and the staff can feed her and Bob at the same time. She just sits there and smiles (now I notice she is smiling at Bob and that is why she is not focusing on eating her food.) I also feed her if I am there feeding Bob. Well that is the end of that--LOL!
I went to a seminar at The Piper before I left. A radiologist that has an independent practice in Shawnee spoke about using stem cells to treat Alzheimer's. His own father was one of his first patients. He takes the stem cells out of the patient's own bone marrow and abdominal fat and then reinjects them IV. He is not willing to do the double blind testing that requires using a placebo on half of the patients as he wants everyone to get the treatment. Therefore, he cannot qualify for studies that would lead to approval and also get the treatment covered by insurance. The pretesting is very expensive with Pet scans and lumbar punctures as he is trying to catch people in the early stage of the disease. Long story short, his father ended up saying "stop, this is costing too much" and died, and another patient was not helped at all. But 2 others he treated were helped significantly. I know stem cell treatment is the thing now, and he acknowledges that it works better for diseases like COPD. But it is being tried for a lot of things like arthritis, getting people's hopes up, but then having mixed results. And if the stem cells are from another source like fetal umbilical cord blood, infections can occur, and ethical questions are raised.
I am going to leave you with food for thought, and I expect it will generate comments on Facebook or on my blog site. Researchers from Washington University School of Medicine in St. Louis (August 1, 2019) report that they can measure levels of the Alzheimer's protein amyloid beta in the blood and use such levels to predict whether the protein has accumulated in the brain. When blood amyloid levels are combined with two other major Alzheimer's risk factors--age and the presence of the genetic variant APOE4--people with early Alzheimer's brain changes can be identified with 94% accuracy, the study found. It goes on to say that such a test may become available at doctor's offices within a few years, but its benefits will be much great once there are treatments to halt the disease process and forestall dementia. My question is--would you have the blood test? I have thought much about it, since my father had Alzheimer's and there is a genetic risk. But I have decided I would not have it. I want to live every day to the fullest, and not have the threat of that hanging over my head--no pun intended. I look forward to your responses!
I went to another seminar/luncheon last week for retired nurses that is held twice a year at the hospital. The speaker's topic was on things you can do to prevent Alzheimer's. I will leave that for next month's blog, but if you find you cannot wait until then, she recommended the book "The End of Alzheimer's" by Dale Bredesen.
Yours for the best possible life,
Betty
But now we are home to reality--having to fix our own meals instead of going to the scrumptious buffet every morning for breakfast and hitting the complimentary peanut butter and jellies and bananas and milk and hot chocolate bar every evening in the hotel. We are spoiled!
I went out to see Bob as soon as I could after getting home. The first day he was having one of the days where he was sleepy and wouldn't react to me. I should have had Libby there! She could always get him to respond! But everything was different at The Piper as well. Two of my favorite residents had passed away very unexpectedly while I was gone. One was Bill, the husband of my friend from the support group. I will really miss Sheryl being there, and our happy chats together as we fed "our boys"! The next day I went to see Bob he was awake and told me my hair looked nice. I about fell over! Then he proclaimed loudly "I AM A MAN". I told him "I AM A WOMAN", and he laughed and laughed! BUT! I found out from the staff that they had caught him and Mickey holding hands while I was gone! Mickey is a retired RN (Real Nuts, she told me when she was more cognizant.) At least Bob knows how to pick RNs to care for him! Mickey sits at Bob's table as she has to be fed and the staff can feed her and Bob at the same time. She just sits there and smiles (now I notice she is smiling at Bob and that is why she is not focusing on eating her food.) I also feed her if I am there feeding Bob. Well that is the end of that--LOL!
I went to a seminar at The Piper before I left. A radiologist that has an independent practice in Shawnee spoke about using stem cells to treat Alzheimer's. His own father was one of his first patients. He takes the stem cells out of the patient's own bone marrow and abdominal fat and then reinjects them IV. He is not willing to do the double blind testing that requires using a placebo on half of the patients as he wants everyone to get the treatment. Therefore, he cannot qualify for studies that would lead to approval and also get the treatment covered by insurance. The pretesting is very expensive with Pet scans and lumbar punctures as he is trying to catch people in the early stage of the disease. Long story short, his father ended up saying "stop, this is costing too much" and died, and another patient was not helped at all. But 2 others he treated were helped significantly. I know stem cell treatment is the thing now, and he acknowledges that it works better for diseases like COPD. But it is being tried for a lot of things like arthritis, getting people's hopes up, but then having mixed results. And if the stem cells are from another source like fetal umbilical cord blood, infections can occur, and ethical questions are raised.
I am going to leave you with food for thought, and I expect it will generate comments on Facebook or on my blog site. Researchers from Washington University School of Medicine in St. Louis (August 1, 2019) report that they can measure levels of the Alzheimer's protein amyloid beta in the blood and use such levels to predict whether the protein has accumulated in the brain. When blood amyloid levels are combined with two other major Alzheimer's risk factors--age and the presence of the genetic variant APOE4--people with early Alzheimer's brain changes can be identified with 94% accuracy, the study found. It goes on to say that such a test may become available at doctor's offices within a few years, but its benefits will be much great once there are treatments to halt the disease process and forestall dementia. My question is--would you have the blood test? I have thought much about it, since my father had Alzheimer's and there is a genetic risk. But I have decided I would not have it. I want to live every day to the fullest, and not have the threat of that hanging over my head--no pun intended. I look forward to your responses!
I went to another seminar/luncheon last week for retired nurses that is held twice a year at the hospital. The speaker's topic was on things you can do to prevent Alzheimer's. I will leave that for next month's blog, but if you find you cannot wait until then, she recommended the book "The End of Alzheimer's" by Dale Bredesen.
Yours for the best possible life,
Betty
Monday, May 20, 2019
I am very happy as I write this blog. One of my friends from the support group has moved her husband Bill to The Piper! Bill is about in the same place in the Alzheimer's journey as Bob, but he got to that point much faster, so Sheryl was faced with finding a place quickly. She has been looking for places for ambulatory residents, but suddenly Bill wasn't ambulatory. She had already been looking around (which I highly recommend not waiting until the last minute) but then her focus had to change as Bill became wheel chair bound. She knew others in the support group (an added benefit of support groups) had been happy with The Piper. She also called me and we discussed her options. She had hurt her back trying to lift Bill, and a room had just opened up across the hall from Bob, so it became a done deal in just a few days! Now they sit in recliners in the day lounge together where there is a TV, and share meals at a separate table in the sunroom. And now Sheryl and I can visit while we feed our husbands, and although they can't join in the conversation, we tease them and they just smile at us!
While we are talking about not waiting until the last minute to make decisions, I have been going with my 86 year old friend Mac to look at different options in case her health conditions would suddenly change, say from a stroke or fall with followup rehab. On our last foray, and with the suggestion of my elder care attorney, we found a wonderful place that we were both very impressed with. They are associated with the Lutheran Church and have been in the same place for years, not one of the newer startups in the area that are having trouble finding staff. They are the only place I have found in the area that takes Medicaid pending, which would be a huge help in the timing of moving to a facility. But they also have about a 6 month waiting list.
I am going to relate two instances of proof of God's impeccable timing since my last blog. The first is about the opening of the new Family Center at the hospital--now renamed Advent Health Merriam. I was having Easter brunch with some friends and Joanne was telling me how she worked closely with the founder of the Infant Development Center, Lee Ann Britain. She said when the flood came and the Center had to move, she asked Lee Ann where she was going to go now. Lee Ann told her "Shawnee Mission Medical Center, but they don't know it yet!" Lee Ann was that kind of person. And Joanne said she remembered Lee Ann talking about a "Bob" that helped her so much. Of course now we know who the Bob was! God's timing of sending a flood precipitated the moving of the Center to the hospital campus exactly at the right time!
The second story involves Bob. I had gone out at lunchtime to feed him, and the nurse practitioner from hospice was there. I had never met her, but she was very nice, and we had a nice chat, and she did a mini physical on Bob. She had no sooner walked out of the door when Bob gave a blood curdling scream and went into a full grand mal seizure, which if you are not a medical person, could also be called an epileptic fit. I have seen many seizures during my career, but it is always a horrendous sight, especially if you are not expecting it. The convulsing of the muscles is followed by a period where they don't breathe, and they turn purple. I yelled for the clinical associate to get the nurse that just went out the door, but then I looked out the window and saw her car drive away. I wanted her to witness it as well. After what seemed like an eternity Bob started breathing again, and I asked the CAs to put him in bed. I called hospice to see if they could get the nurse practitioner back, but they said they would send his regular nurse. While I was waiting for her, I went to Dr. Google and googled "seizures in Alzheimer's patients." It said that about 25% of Alzheimer's patients have them, and it is a progression of the disease. But it also gave a case study that one lady got her full capacity back for about a week after the seizure and knew everyone and could hold an intelligent conversation. When the nurse came and was checking Bob I asked her "May I ask if the nurse practitioner was here to recertify him and was she thinking of taking him off hospice? She sheepish said yes. I told her I didn't know what I would do without hospice. In addition to the moral support they give, they supply all the equipment and incontinent supplies. I asked about that, and she said I could rent the equipment by the month. I was afraid to ask how much it would be, as he has the special bed, the wheelchair, the lift, and the shower chair. I asked if they would take him off hospice after the seizure, and she smiled and said "Not now!" So once again, God's timing was perfect. What if I hadn't been there to witness it? They would have thought he had had a stroke. He remained unresponsive for about 12 hours and then started waking up. And wouldn't you know it, something got rewired during the seizure, and he was much more engaged and talking in sentences again, some of which made sense! The social worker from hospice called me when she was there to see him a week ago and told me he had told her he was going home, was going to apply for a job, and was going fishing. I had just left an hour before, and he had not gotten to that level with me, before or since. Wouldn't you know he would show off for the hospice worker?! The past few days, he has gone down again to about the level he was before the seizure. Another example of the roller coaster ride that is Alzheimer's.
As A.J. Cronin puts it "Life is no straight and easy corridor along which we travel free and unhampered, but a maze of passages, through which we must seek our way, lost and confused, now and again checked in a blind alley. But always, if we have faith, a door will open for us, not perhaps one that we ourselves would have thought of, but one that will ultimately prove good for us."
Would I have thought Bob would have a seizure? Absolutely not! But maybe it was through the seizure that God opened the door to buy us more time on hospice. And it was certainly well timed!
I leave Wednesday to drive to Tennessee to bring back our 9 year old granddaughter for the summer.
I know we will have a great time and be very busy, so I may not write a blog for a couple of months unless something changes drastically. I am not getting on that roller coaster in the meantime! I know many of you pray for us daily. I would appreciate it if you would pray specifically now that Bob will be able to stay on hospice. Also, two of Bob's brothers need your prayers as they are both facing a health crisis of their own.
Thank you, and love to you all,
Betty
Saturday, April 20, 2019
Today is a beautiful Spring day and appropriately it is Easter weekend. The trees are a riot of color, and all nature seems to be celebrating the end of a very long winter. I drove out to see Bob, and the residents of the Armourdale unit (where Bob is) at The Piper seemed bored, so I decided to play the piano for them. I was playing some hymns, but mainly Gaither songs. After I finished one song, a resident that is usually very quiet said "That was 'We'll talk it over.'" I was so surprised as he didn't know the previous song "Life is like a Mountain Railroad" which some of the other residents knew.
I remember my brother Bob and my husband Bob sang that as a duet in church many years ago, and I played the piano. Little did I know how significant the words would become.
I would like to talk over with my Lord why a good man such as Bob would have to get Alzheimer's. Bob did so much good in his life. The Family Center at the hospital where he worked is opening up a Family Center the end of this month. It includes the child care center for employee's children (the best in the area) and an Infant Development Center for handicapped children. When we first moved here the Infant Development Center was in another facility off campus. There was a torrential rain one night and it was flooded. The founder, Lee Ann Britain, called Shawnee Mission Medical Center and asked if they had space where they could move temporarily. A space was found and overnight Bob and the Environmental Services crew moved them to a place in the hospital and they were ready for business the next morning. To make a long story short, they never moved from the hospital. Bob enthusiastically supported them during his whole career. I can't help but think it was because of him having cerebral palsy in his infancy and early life. He didn't walk until he was 5, and then it was because of intensive therapy.
Another cause Bob put a lot of energy into was the Adventist school, maybe because he had children that went there. He was chairman of the building committee for the building of the new Midland Adventist School (now Midland Adventist Academy) and put many hours of sweat and tears into it. He told the story of how he went with the hospital attorney to visit a neighbor of the school that they needed to talk to regarding putting a sewer line through his property. They were met on the porch looking down the barrel of a gun and the man telling them to get off his property. But in the end, after showing him the money, he relented! When the school opened, the library was called the Robert L. Woolford library. It was a perfect tribute as Bob loved to read and he loved the kids! With the advent of computers, the library is now the school music room, which is also appropriate as he also loved music. The sign on the room reads "This space served as the Robert L. Woolford Library from 1998-2018. Robert was a tireless champion of Seventh-day Adventist education and played a pivotal role in the establishment of Midland Adventist School."
Yes, I would like to ask my Lord why something so bad happened to someone so good. He had such a hard time in his early life, it doesn't seem fair that he should end his life the same way. He has to be fed now, but he still loves to eat. I am glad, as I watch other residents that are unable to swallow now, or have forgotten how to swallow. And when someone with Alzheimer's can't swallow, they often choke, and get aspiration pneumonia which ends their life. So while he is able to enjoy them, I take him little treats. I try to go out and feed him lunch every other day. The other day I took him a piece of homemade German Chocolate cake (his favorite) and evidently I wasn't shoveling it in fast enough. He made a motion with his hands that very clearly said "COME ON!"
I will end with the words from the chorus of the song:
We'll talk it over in the bye and bye,
We'll talk it over, my Lord and I
I'll ask the reasons; He'll tell my why
When we talk it over, in the bye and bye.
I am sure others are wondering the same things that I do, but keep in mind this Easter season that God knows why, and someday it will be revealed to us. He loved us so much He sent his son, and we cannot understand that either!
Happy Easter!
Betty
I remember my brother Bob and my husband Bob sang that as a duet in church many years ago, and I played the piano. Little did I know how significant the words would become.
I would like to talk over with my Lord why a good man such as Bob would have to get Alzheimer's. Bob did so much good in his life. The Family Center at the hospital where he worked is opening up a Family Center the end of this month. It includes the child care center for employee's children (the best in the area) and an Infant Development Center for handicapped children. When we first moved here the Infant Development Center was in another facility off campus. There was a torrential rain one night and it was flooded. The founder, Lee Ann Britain, called Shawnee Mission Medical Center and asked if they had space where they could move temporarily. A space was found and overnight Bob and the Environmental Services crew moved them to a place in the hospital and they were ready for business the next morning. To make a long story short, they never moved from the hospital. Bob enthusiastically supported them during his whole career. I can't help but think it was because of him having cerebral palsy in his infancy and early life. He didn't walk until he was 5, and then it was because of intensive therapy.
Another cause Bob put a lot of energy into was the Adventist school, maybe because he had children that went there. He was chairman of the building committee for the building of the new Midland Adventist School (now Midland Adventist Academy) and put many hours of sweat and tears into it. He told the story of how he went with the hospital attorney to visit a neighbor of the school that they needed to talk to regarding putting a sewer line through his property. They were met on the porch looking down the barrel of a gun and the man telling them to get off his property. But in the end, after showing him the money, he relented! When the school opened, the library was called the Robert L. Woolford library. It was a perfect tribute as Bob loved to read and he loved the kids! With the advent of computers, the library is now the school music room, which is also appropriate as he also loved music. The sign on the room reads "This space served as the Robert L. Woolford Library from 1998-2018. Robert was a tireless champion of Seventh-day Adventist education and played a pivotal role in the establishment of Midland Adventist School."
Yes, I would like to ask my Lord why something so bad happened to someone so good. He had such a hard time in his early life, it doesn't seem fair that he should end his life the same way. He has to be fed now, but he still loves to eat. I am glad, as I watch other residents that are unable to swallow now, or have forgotten how to swallow. And when someone with Alzheimer's can't swallow, they often choke, and get aspiration pneumonia which ends their life. So while he is able to enjoy them, I take him little treats. I try to go out and feed him lunch every other day. The other day I took him a piece of homemade German Chocolate cake (his favorite) and evidently I wasn't shoveling it in fast enough. He made a motion with his hands that very clearly said "COME ON!"
I will end with the words from the chorus of the song:
We'll talk it over in the bye and bye,
We'll talk it over, my Lord and I
I'll ask the reasons; He'll tell my why
When we talk it over, in the bye and bye.
I am sure others are wondering the same things that I do, but keep in mind this Easter season that God knows why, and someday it will be revealed to us. He loved us so much He sent his son, and we cannot understand that either!
Happy Easter!
Betty
Monday, March 4, 2019
Greetings from the frozen tundra that is the Midwest right now! But as Percy Bysshe Shelley said "O, wind, if winter comes, can Spring be far behind?" He certainly was an optimistic soul, wasn't he? I am beginning to think winter will never end! To keep myself busy and occupied and to while away the hours, have turned again to my pillow making. I have made so many for my friends of their spouses shirts and sweaters after their loved one's passing that I decided to make one for myself. So I took one of my favorite shirts of Bob's and made one for me to hug! Then daughter Valerie reminded me that she would like one was well, so I took one of Bob's Pendleton wool shirts that we all love, and made one for her. Then she said she would like one made from one of my shirts, and since I cannot make one for her after I am dead, I decided I had better get busy on it. After all, I could die prematurely in an auto accident or plane crash. So I took a jacket, also made of Pendleton wool, that my grandmother made for me when I was in the 7th grade (and by the way it still fits!) and made the pillow from that. I think they turned out great as they are both red and black plaid.
So, as Mark Twain mused, "Reports of my death are greatly exaggerated, " I too am forced to face my own mortality. And although some may look on it as very morbid, I had a wonderful time planning my own memorial service. When Valerie vehemently protested when I gave it to her for safe keeping, again I reminded her that I cannot plan it after my death. The only clue I can give you is that some of you would absolutely love it, and some of you would absolutely hate it! So I am inviting those of you who are MUCH younger than me to please come to my memorial celebration and see for yourself! Am I going crazy with this cold weather or what?!
Last week I made a spur of the moment trip to Baltimore, Maryland where all of Bob's family still lives. Though we have known for some time that Bob's older brother has a progressive lung disease, the reality of his prognosis didn't hit home to me until he was placed on hospice care. I decided that I would like to get there and see him and tell him good-bye rather than go to the funeral. I was worried I wouldn't get there in time, as flights were sold out or were cost prohibitive when I started to try to make reservations. But I am so thankful that I made it. Though I knew it would be hard seeing him weak and bedfast, he was so glad to see me, so it made it all worthwhile. Harrel, you have been a great family patriarch. He was 10 when his mother and father both walked out on the family and left their 65 year old grandmother to raise 4 boys, the youngest then 2 and 1/2, on just her Social Security. If you have been around Bob at all, you have heard him tell this story. The four boys owe a debt of gratitude to their grandmother they can never repay. She kept them from being separated even though it was extremely hard and they had to live in the slums of Baltimore. Thank you again Harrel, as being the eldest, more responsibility was on your shoulders. Safe and peaceful passage to you.
I got to see all the brothers and their families, and also some dear friends during the short time I was there. As we age, those connections somehow seem dearer to us, don't you agree?
With permission, I would like to include a paragraph from Karina Pettey, a young wife and mother that has beat breast cancer twice, and hopefully forever. She is a daughter of one of my nursing roommates and was raising her family while going through surgery, chemo, and radiation. She had her own blog during the time, but that chapter is now closed, and she was writing as a guest on another blog. Here are some excerpts I want to emphasize: "Respect for your friend's family circle, choices, and values is especially important during periods of vulnerablity. Respect does not mean you would make the same choices yourself. It means having healthy conversation and still being supportive friends. Respect your friend's medical philosophy and choices. Ask your friend what she wants her journey to look like. What is her set of healthcare values? What are her wishes? She likely needs a friend to bounce ideas around with. To be a trustworthy sounding board, it helps if you've care enough to understand her diagnosis and medical philosophy."
I remember when I was working and a patient that had been in the hospital for weeks would die. I would ask the family which funeral home I should call. They would look at each other blankly and shrug their shoulders. Then I would have to get out the phone book (remember those dinosaurs?!) and point to the mortuary section. As a nurse, I just couldn't understand why they hadn't thought about that ahead of time. But now I understand. You are dealing with so much of the present, that you don't want to think of the future with its sorrow and loss. Identify with them and be respectful.
I also went to see the church in Baltimore where we got married, and could picture us, in the prime of good health, and very much in love. But now Bob again weighs what he did when we got married. And it is a very different picture now. He just sits and looks at the food and can't figure out what to do with it. They feed him, and I go early when I can to help with that, and bring him snacks and goodies in the middle of the afternoon. He still has his sweet tooth....
I am getting ready to leave this frozen land soon and go where it is warm and take 9 year old Libby to Disney World during her Spring break. Isn't Disney World the happiest place on earth? So I will identify with the younger generation during that time, and hopefully monsoons and tornadoes won't be able to catch us! Life goes on!
Until next time,
Betty
So, as Mark Twain mused, "Reports of my death are greatly exaggerated, " I too am forced to face my own mortality. And although some may look on it as very morbid, I had a wonderful time planning my own memorial service. When Valerie vehemently protested when I gave it to her for safe keeping, again I reminded her that I cannot plan it after my death. The only clue I can give you is that some of you would absolutely love it, and some of you would absolutely hate it! So I am inviting those of you who are MUCH younger than me to please come to my memorial celebration and see for yourself! Am I going crazy with this cold weather or what?!
Last week I made a spur of the moment trip to Baltimore, Maryland where all of Bob's family still lives. Though we have known for some time that Bob's older brother has a progressive lung disease, the reality of his prognosis didn't hit home to me until he was placed on hospice care. I decided that I would like to get there and see him and tell him good-bye rather than go to the funeral. I was worried I wouldn't get there in time, as flights were sold out or were cost prohibitive when I started to try to make reservations. But I am so thankful that I made it. Though I knew it would be hard seeing him weak and bedfast, he was so glad to see me, so it made it all worthwhile. Harrel, you have been a great family patriarch. He was 10 when his mother and father both walked out on the family and left their 65 year old grandmother to raise 4 boys, the youngest then 2 and 1/2, on just her Social Security. If you have been around Bob at all, you have heard him tell this story. The four boys owe a debt of gratitude to their grandmother they can never repay. She kept them from being separated even though it was extremely hard and they had to live in the slums of Baltimore. Thank you again Harrel, as being the eldest, more responsibility was on your shoulders. Safe and peaceful passage to you.
I got to see all the brothers and their families, and also some dear friends during the short time I was there. As we age, those connections somehow seem dearer to us, don't you agree?
With permission, I would like to include a paragraph from Karina Pettey, a young wife and mother that has beat breast cancer twice, and hopefully forever. She is a daughter of one of my nursing roommates and was raising her family while going through surgery, chemo, and radiation. She had her own blog during the time, but that chapter is now closed, and she was writing as a guest on another blog. Here are some excerpts I want to emphasize: "Respect for your friend's family circle, choices, and values is especially important during periods of vulnerablity. Respect does not mean you would make the same choices yourself. It means having healthy conversation and still being supportive friends. Respect your friend's medical philosophy and choices. Ask your friend what she wants her journey to look like. What is her set of healthcare values? What are her wishes? She likely needs a friend to bounce ideas around with. To be a trustworthy sounding board, it helps if you've care enough to understand her diagnosis and medical philosophy."
I remember when I was working and a patient that had been in the hospital for weeks would die. I would ask the family which funeral home I should call. They would look at each other blankly and shrug their shoulders. Then I would have to get out the phone book (remember those dinosaurs?!) and point to the mortuary section. As a nurse, I just couldn't understand why they hadn't thought about that ahead of time. But now I understand. You are dealing with so much of the present, that you don't want to think of the future with its sorrow and loss. Identify with them and be respectful.
I also went to see the church in Baltimore where we got married, and could picture us, in the prime of good health, and very much in love. But now Bob again weighs what he did when we got married. And it is a very different picture now. He just sits and looks at the food and can't figure out what to do with it. They feed him, and I go early when I can to help with that, and bring him snacks and goodies in the middle of the afternoon. He still has his sweet tooth....
I am getting ready to leave this frozen land soon and go where it is warm and take 9 year old Libby to Disney World during her Spring break. Isn't Disney World the happiest place on earth? So I will identify with the younger generation during that time, and hopefully monsoons and tornadoes won't be able to catch us! Life goes on!
Until next time,
Betty
Sunday, January 27, 2019
I just returned from a cruise a week ago today. From warm tropical isles to the deep freeze of the Midwest! I am going to take a break and digress from "Journey through Alzheimer's" on this post and title this one "Adventures on the Love Boat." The ship we sailed on was the Pacific Princess, the smallest now of the Princess fleet, but it was the ship that the TV series "The Love Boat" was filmed on. It was the perfect size, about 650 passengers, instead of the megaships of today. I was booked on this very cruise 3 years ago with Bob and some dear friends, Harry and Gail Janke, and their daughter Heather. But Bob got too bad to travel from the time we booked until the time we sailed, so we had to cancel. This year Jankes were going again, so I asked if I could try this again, and they said, "Sure, come along!" But 2 days before the cruise Heather got sick and they had to cancel. I had already decided if something happened I would go ahead and go by myself, so that is what I did! So saying, I am going to introduce you to some of my fellow travelers that I met on the Love Boat.
I was assigned to a table for 8. The seniors at the table were a couple aged 99 (she celebrated her birthday on the ship) and her husband aged 98 (she said she was a cougar!) They were just as "with it" as any of the rest of us, and needed no mobility devices. Another couple lives in Vancouver, B.C. She was from Finland and he was from Denmark, and they met dancing in Vancouver. Then there was a dapper gentleman from New Jersey complete with the identifying accent that dressed in a suit almost every night for dinner. His daughter kept his homefires burning while he cruised the world, even having been on the Queen Mary. Last, but not least, was a couple from Atlanta, who also cruised a lot. He had worked for AT&T and she had been a church secretary. Charlie kept playing pranks on the room stewards and waiters, so we had a lively group. We were always the last table to leave the dining room as we bonded together the first evening!
Our table (except for the elder couple who went to bed) always went to the excellent evening shows. At one of the shows the performer was a lady who played the piano suberbly. During one love song that she played she asked the gentlemen in the audience to reach over and hold their lady's hand. I was amazing as I surreptitiously looked around to see men still sitting with their arms folded and their legs crossed. Bob would have grabbed my hand immediately and squeezed it hard! After the show, the folks at our table usually gravitated upstairs to the Pacific Lounge. There the ship staff sponsored an hour of games etc. that were a lot of fun. This particular night it was karaoke night. I was still thinking about what had happened during the show with the pianist. So believe it or not, and I still can't believe it myself, I got up to sing karaoke! I was going to sing an Elvis song, "Have I told you lately that I love you", as it is a favorite of Bob and mine. But they didn't have it on the playlist, so we agreed on "Peace in the Valley." I enlisted the help of another man singer who had a beautiful voice who was going next to sing with me. But first I made a little speech. I told the smaller audience there about what I had observed at the show. I told them I was supposed to take this cruise with the love of my life 3 years ago, but that his Alzheimer's had gotten too bad, and we had to cancel. I told them he would have loved this cruise, and would have gotten out and directed traffic going through the Panama Canal! So I told them, please don't wait to hold your lover's hand and tell them you love them, as you never know the future, and some day it might be too late. One of the tablemates jumped up and hugged me when we were finished the song, which certainly didn't rival the other singers that participated!
Then there were the 2 ladies I sat with at breakfast one morning. One was a retired nurse, 87 years old, and she was traveling with her caregiver of many years. She was in the last stages of kidney disease, and she was choosing not to go on dialysis. So this would be her last cruise. Of course she was diabetic as well, but very mobile and independent. But her caregiver said whenever she wasn't looking, she would sneak cans of non-diet pop. Good for her!
I met so many wonderful people, but the last couple I will tell you about was a couple that was always dancing, whenever and at whatever venue they found to dance. He was from Columbia, and she was from South Korea, and they met dancing in San Francisco, where they now live. She had the most gorgeous dresses, and they were always so filmy, so that it looked like she was floating across the dance floor. Everyone how the ship talked about how beautifully they danced together--it was a show in itself, watching them. I always spoke to her and called her "beautiful" and she would just beam. I got better acquainted with them on a land tour. He had even taken a $2000 massage therapy class as she has back problems and he could rub her back when she was in pain. At breakfast the last morning, I saw them sitting alone, and asked if I could join them. Immediately I saw it was a mistake. Her eyes were red from crying, and when her husband left to go to the buffet again, she told me "next time I am going to take a cruise alone like you are doing." When he came back to the table, he put his hand on her shoulder and she said "get away from me." So my bubble of their fairytale romance was burst, and I only hope they can work it out. Life is not all a bowl of cherries, is it?
I went to see Bob the day after I got home. I was still feeling like I was rockin' and rollin' on the ship like some do after a cruise (something to do with the inner ear!) The housemother at The Piper told me a story that Bob was sitting at the dinner table with 2 other men, and the other men got to arguing about something, which I always smile at, because it makes no sense, and neither of them know what they are talking about. But this particular night Bob had had enough and he yelled "SHUT UP!" That tickled my funny bone, especially since Bob does not make sense when he talks either, and he doesn't talk much now, and also it is so uncharacteristic of him! But that came out loud and clear! I am not sure he knew me, but we held hands and I sang karaoke to him. It is a song he always requested "You are my sunshine."
Hang in there folks through this winter when the sun isn't shining! I have cruise memories to keep me warm!
Betty
I was assigned to a table for 8. The seniors at the table were a couple aged 99 (she celebrated her birthday on the ship) and her husband aged 98 (she said she was a cougar!) They were just as "with it" as any of the rest of us, and needed no mobility devices. Another couple lives in Vancouver, B.C. She was from Finland and he was from Denmark, and they met dancing in Vancouver. Then there was a dapper gentleman from New Jersey complete with the identifying accent that dressed in a suit almost every night for dinner. His daughter kept his homefires burning while he cruised the world, even having been on the Queen Mary. Last, but not least, was a couple from Atlanta, who also cruised a lot. He had worked for AT&T and she had been a church secretary. Charlie kept playing pranks on the room stewards and waiters, so we had a lively group. We were always the last table to leave the dining room as we bonded together the first evening!
Our table (except for the elder couple who went to bed) always went to the excellent evening shows. At one of the shows the performer was a lady who played the piano suberbly. During one love song that she played she asked the gentlemen in the audience to reach over and hold their lady's hand. I was amazing as I surreptitiously looked around to see men still sitting with their arms folded and their legs crossed. Bob would have grabbed my hand immediately and squeezed it hard! After the show, the folks at our table usually gravitated upstairs to the Pacific Lounge. There the ship staff sponsored an hour of games etc. that were a lot of fun. This particular night it was karaoke night. I was still thinking about what had happened during the show with the pianist. So believe it or not, and I still can't believe it myself, I got up to sing karaoke! I was going to sing an Elvis song, "Have I told you lately that I love you", as it is a favorite of Bob and mine. But they didn't have it on the playlist, so we agreed on "Peace in the Valley." I enlisted the help of another man singer who had a beautiful voice who was going next to sing with me. But first I made a little speech. I told the smaller audience there about what I had observed at the show. I told them I was supposed to take this cruise with the love of my life 3 years ago, but that his Alzheimer's had gotten too bad, and we had to cancel. I told them he would have loved this cruise, and would have gotten out and directed traffic going through the Panama Canal! So I told them, please don't wait to hold your lover's hand and tell them you love them, as you never know the future, and some day it might be too late. One of the tablemates jumped up and hugged me when we were finished the song, which certainly didn't rival the other singers that participated!
Then there were the 2 ladies I sat with at breakfast one morning. One was a retired nurse, 87 years old, and she was traveling with her caregiver of many years. She was in the last stages of kidney disease, and she was choosing not to go on dialysis. So this would be her last cruise. Of course she was diabetic as well, but very mobile and independent. But her caregiver said whenever she wasn't looking, she would sneak cans of non-diet pop. Good for her!
I met so many wonderful people, but the last couple I will tell you about was a couple that was always dancing, whenever and at whatever venue they found to dance. He was from Columbia, and she was from South Korea, and they met dancing in San Francisco, where they now live. She had the most gorgeous dresses, and they were always so filmy, so that it looked like she was floating across the dance floor. Everyone how the ship talked about how beautifully they danced together--it was a show in itself, watching them. I always spoke to her and called her "beautiful" and she would just beam. I got better acquainted with them on a land tour. He had even taken a $2000 massage therapy class as she has back problems and he could rub her back when she was in pain. At breakfast the last morning, I saw them sitting alone, and asked if I could join them. Immediately I saw it was a mistake. Her eyes were red from crying, and when her husband left to go to the buffet again, she told me "next time I am going to take a cruise alone like you are doing." When he came back to the table, he put his hand on her shoulder and she said "get away from me." So my bubble of their fairytale romance was burst, and I only hope they can work it out. Life is not all a bowl of cherries, is it?
I went to see Bob the day after I got home. I was still feeling like I was rockin' and rollin' on the ship like some do after a cruise (something to do with the inner ear!) The housemother at The Piper told me a story that Bob was sitting at the dinner table with 2 other men, and the other men got to arguing about something, which I always smile at, because it makes no sense, and neither of them know what they are talking about. But this particular night Bob had had enough and he yelled "SHUT UP!" That tickled my funny bone, especially since Bob does not make sense when he talks either, and he doesn't talk much now, and also it is so uncharacteristic of him! But that came out loud and clear! I am not sure he knew me, but we held hands and I sang karaoke to him. It is a song he always requested "You are my sunshine."
Hang in there folks through this winter when the sun isn't shining! I have cruise memories to keep me warm!
Betty
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