This month has been both a month of sweet times and of challenges.  The sweet time was this morning.  For the past month Bob has been referring to himself as "he" and to me as "she".  He gets the pronouns right for the most part.  This morning he patted my leg and said "she works hard and he loves she."  Aww!  It is particularly poignant as "he" has threatened many times to fire "she" but I guess he has reconsidered!  The challenges have been with the increasing incontinence.  This is not what I would normally put in a Christmas post, but if it helps someone dealing with the same thing it is worth it!  The Depends had gotten to the point where, when they were wet, gave off an odor I could not tolerate anymore.  So I started looking for something else.  I went to Sam's and found their premium brand with an odor control strip in them, so I bought them.  I tried two of them and they leaked badly (anyone need 86 diapers, from a package of 88 that are in the trunk of my car waiting to be returned?)  I knew Attends were good but had been avoiding them as I thought they all had tabs.  But I went online (they are only sold online) and found some pull-up Attends and they have been excellent and have solved most of the problems.  After doing many loads of washing!
I am going to confide at this point that Christmas is not my favorite holiday.  I think of all the people who will not have a Merry Christmas.  Those who have lost loved ones, who are estranged for whatever reason from those they love, for those who don't even have money to buy their children presents, and the list could go on and on.  The perception that everything is supposed to be merry and bright only adds to the loneliness and depression.  And don't get me started on the gift giving.  When our children were little it was Cabbage Patch dolls that everyone fought over in the department stores.  This year it is Hatchimals at up to $200 a pop.  I read a post recently on Facebook from Carrie, a young new graduate nurse at the hospital when I was working.  She is older now, as we all are, and has children of her own.  She tells how she drove by a homeless man, not begging, but just sitting by the side of the road.  She couldn't get him out of her mind, so she went to Target and bought him some warm socks and gloves, and a big steaming hot cup of coffee and took them back to him.  She said when she left, he was crying.  Carrie looks like an angel anyway with long blond hair, and I am sure he thought an angel had visited him that day.  She didn't say if her children were in the car, but I hope they were, so they could have seen that is it truly "more blessed to give than to receive."
Now I am going to get on another soapbox.  I recently read the book "The Emotional Journey of the Alzheimer's Family" by Robert B. Santulli and Kesstan Blandin.  The following are some of the highlights presented in the book:  1.  Focus on the present, as the past no longer can be recalled and the future is to abstract a concept to consider.  Being present in the moment is a positive tool to promote happiness.  And along the same line:  2.  Be mindful and pay full attention to the moment at hand.  I want to interject here about both the most valuable and yet most cursed thing of our lives--cell phones.  Please, please this season, put aside your cell phone for just awhile and relate to your loved ones in the present moment.  These moments are so fleeting, but can be stored later as such precious memories.  This plea is for both young and adults alike to heed!  3.  They talk about relaxation techniques--visualization, meditation, and prayer.  Diane, the leader of my yoga class, is introducing prayer breathing for this Advent season.  Last week the prayer was "Peace of Christ" on the inhale, and "rest in Me" on the exhale.  It is a wonderful way to fall asleep at night!
Bob and I are going to our daughter Valerie's house in St. Louis for Christmas with her and her family.  Our son Ron is bringing his children from Chattanooga to meet us there and see Pop Pop and have Christmas together.  We are going the Friday before Christmas and then everyone is returning home Monday.  I hope Bob can do well with being out of his routine, in a different house, and the commotion that we hopefully can keep to a minimum!
Peace to all of you this Christmas!
We love you!
"He" and "She"