I am afraid this may be a long post, but I don't want to split it up, so I hope you will bear with me through to the end.  This will be a difficult subject to approach, and I realize it will be controversial, but I welcome your comments, pro and con, either on Facebook, by email, or on this blog.
About a year and a half ago when our travels started to lessen (we used to go to Botswana, now we go to Branson!) we started attending our home church again.  The associate pastor gave a sermon about faith, and how if we believe anything hard enough it will come to pass.  She gave many Biblical texts, such as if we have faith the size of a mustard seed it would move mountains, and cited examples like the battle of Jericho.  I struggled with this long enough that I finally made an appointment to see her for a friendly discussion (I assured her!).  She remembered the sermon well, as it hadn't been that long.  She said some of the church members interpreted it to mean that if we had enough faith, we could eliminate the church debt.  To them I would answer "faith without works is dead"!  But I told her I had other questions, ones that she had not addressed in the sermon.  What if I were to pray fervently that Bob would be healed, but healing did not come?  I told her that maybe my experiences as a nurse made me form my opinions,  and I could not get over that.  I have seen so many fervent prayers in the hospital over the years for babies and children all the way up to 95 year olds for healing.  "Doctor, yes granny is 95 years old, but please put her on the ventilator and do everything possible while we pray for a miracle".  And the whole church it seemed was there praying on these occasions, and the patient still died, be it a one year old or 95 years old.  And what about the examples that my good friends who are atheists cite--why did God allow the holocaust to happen?  Yes, I know Satan is hard at work in this old world, but couldn't God have rescued just the one Syrian refugee child found dead on the beach?  I have read and reread the book "When bad things happen to good people" by Harold S. Kushner and hope we fall under the "good people" category!  Anyway, the pastor said yes, she was sorry she didn't address the subject of healing, but there are 3 ways people are healed.  First, there is a miracle and the person is healed right away.  Secondly God says "wait awhile" and the healing comes later.  And third, God says no, but the person is healed when the earth is made new and we go to heaven.  I thanked her, we had prayer, and we left.
It was not long after this that something else happened.  I stopped at Holiday cleaners (and this is a non paid commercial) near Shawnee Mission Parkway and Nieman.  I had stopped there weekly over the years to drop off Bob's shirts on my way home from work.  The Kim family runs the business, and I cannot say enough good about them.  The mother and I had developed a real friendship, as at that time of day she was not busy and had time to talk.  But her English was halting, so there were a lot of hand gestures in our conversations.  Their story, and how they came to own the business is amazing.  They came from South Korea, and the father is a Korean pastor, and someone in Kansas sponsored them.  Well, they put their daughter Esther, born in Korea, through law school, and now she is helping run the business but is also studying to be a counselor, which I am sure she was meant to be.  She speaks impeccable English, so now I could understand more of their story.  This particular day, both the mother and daughter came out to the car to say "hi" to Bob and something must have impressed them.  They both laid hands on Bob, and in the most pleading voices, implored God to straighten out the tangles in Bob's brain, and make him whole again.  I have never heard such prayers.  Then they sang a wonderful song.  Bob and I then drove on to West Flanders park where we have walked on the walking trail for many years.  Bob will no longer walk, but he will sit on a bench while I do.  I started off, and there on the sidewalk it was written in chalk in big letters GOD LOVES YOU.  I was already teary from the encounter at the dry cleaners, and this just reinforced it!
So, at the risk of sounding naive, I have come to the conclusion that faith is the "substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen".  Hebrews 11:1 But I am a "get it done" person, and I want everything to happen right now, and it produces stress when it doesn't!  But, faith reassures us that everything will happen in God's timing.  The serenity prayer has become my mantra!
So, as the song says "His eye is on the sparrow" and I cannot help but believe that Bob is more valuable than a sparrow, so he will have to be in God's hands.  We will walk the pathway God has chosen for us.
This thanksgiving I am thankful for so many big things.  Chief among them:
1.  Family and friends
2.  A new support group that is awesome (and I hope are reading my blog)
And the little things:
1.  The leaves this fall seem especially colorful
2.  New healthful recipes I have been trying that we both are enjoying!

I want to wish all of you a very happy Thanksgiving,
Betty