I can choose to be a victim of the world, or an adventurer in search of treasure.  Its all a question of how I view my life--Paulo Coelho
I am back from my adventure to Israel and Jordan.  Every trip we would come back from, I would always say "That is the best trip yet!"  But this one truly was.  I have wanted to go there for so long.  We had reservations to go there for our 50th anniversary, but then when I looked more carefully at the itinerary and the comments about how strenuous the trip was, I knew Bob could not do that.  So God in His wisdom made me wait, and this trip with all the Biblical connections in spoken word and wonderful violin music (hymns) made the footsteps of Jesus come much more alive.  So it was a spiritual journey, as well as a physical journey (rigorous at times with the heat).  And the group was so compatible, and included from ages 7-80, with 8 teenagers that kept things lively.  I only heard one "discouraging word" and that was from a teenager as we were climbing a steep hill.  Her mother just told her to look at the 80 year olds that were doing it, and to get going!  And God sent my roommate to me as well in a miraculous way.  We were talking about my upcoming trip during our monthly retired nurse's luncheon, and she looked at me and said "You are going to Israel? When I responded in the affirmative, she said "I am going with you."  I needed a roommate, and it couldn't have worked out better.  We never felt afraid, except maybe a little uneasy when going through security coming home from Jordan.  I was afraid I could get upset with the agents when they completely unpacked my carryon bag that was packed to the hilt!  And they did it twice within 40 feet of each other.  But we didn't get patted down as some had.
I didn't worry about Bob while I was gone.  The extra care layer of hospice also worked out to "the good of those that love the Lord" and turned what could have been perceived as a negative experience into a positive one.  The nurse would call our daughter Valerie with a report after she had seen Bob, and then Valerie would message me.  We just had to keep aware of the time difference!  When I got back he is very much better than when I left.  He was having to be fed when I left, but now he is much more aware of his surroundings.  Valerie and her family came for Father's Day weekend and we all went out together.  He obviously knew who they were for the first time in a long time, and called me "his wife Betty."  He couldn't say their names, but tried to carry on a conversation even though it didn't make sense.  I don't know what to attribute that to. Before I left, hospice asked if they could give him a round of Cipro, an antibiotic.  He had been tested at least twice for a urinary tract infection, and everything always came back he didn't have one.  But they felt he might.  I don't know if that is what made the difference.  Wouldn't it be wonderful if Cipro is the cure for Alzheimer's?!  I cannot say enough good about having hospice on board.  The equipment is furnished, and also the incontinent supplies are paid for.  The bed has a foam mattress that comes up on the sides (not the forbidden restraint of side rails) so he can't get out, and they lower the bed to the floor at night, in case he would get up, he wouldn't fall.  He seems to be getting stronger as well, and tries to get out of the wheelchair.  And the other evening when I went, he was happily eating an ice cream bar by himself.
I will end this post with something I have been wanting to address.  Sometimes it seems that people avoid talking to a family member because they don't know what to say.  I totally understand that.  I have wondered recently if the phrase "I am sorry for your loss" has become a cliche.  For me, "How's Bob?" is fine.  I love to talk about him.  But you can just say sincerely to someone "I am here for you and I care."  Or just a hug will be welcomed!  Valerie told me two that she liked.  One was "I've been thinking about you.  How are things with your dad?" Another one was "I am so sorry.  Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers."  Be warned that any of these may elicit a few tears, but that is OK too!
The Chattanooga grandchildren will be here in about an hour, and 7 year old Libby will be here for the rest of the summer until school starts, so I don't know how much blogging I will get done.  I am anxious to see if Bob remembers them as well.
Have a great summer!
Betty