Bob has had a total of 4 seizures now.  He had another one two weeks ago Saturday, and while no one witnessed it, the classic post-seizure symptoms were there--drooling, snoring respirations, and unresponsiveness.  This past Saturday he had another episode, and was again unresponsive for 4 hours, but this was unlike any seizure he has ever had.  This time there was distinct drooping on the left side of his mouth, but nothing else.  His blood pressure was normal, so rather than say he had a stroke, the hospice nurse called it a "neurologic event."  Leave it to Bob to mix things up a little.  He is getting harder to feed, as he keeps falling asleep while I am trying to feed him.  Except when dessert comes, and then he opens his eyes and his mouth, just like a little bird!  He is especially partial to ice cream, so ice cream it is!
I would like to share a story that aired on the local news just recently.  It is about a man that Kansas City residents will remember well.  His name is Dennis Moore and he was a U.S. congressman, who represented Kansas' 3rd district from 1999 to 2011.  He worked with several former presidents and helped pass bills for veterans.  He was diagnosed in 2012 and his Alzheimer's is now progressing so he was placed in a home last year.  I would like to echo some of the sentiments voiced by his wife Stephene (pronounced Stephenie).  She says "A lot of times you hear, 'Talk to somebody', but a lot of people will say, 'Oh, I know what you are going through, because my grandmother had Alzheimer's.'  They don't know anything about caring for a spouse."  So Stephene now spends time with, advocates for and speaks on behalf of caregivers.  After all, she understands the stress, financial worries, loss of dreams and grief that accompany the disease.  I could not agree with her more.  My father had Alzheimer's.  Having a spouse with Alzheimer's is a whole different ballgame.  She ended the interview by saying, "Take it slow; take every day for what it is.  Live in the moment, lower your expectations, be a good advocate and cherish the moment."  She says she knows he needs to be in a home where she can get sleep and know that he is safe.  She knows she will need stamina for the long years ahead.  I share her journey because I too, can relate to what she is experiencing with so many conflicting emotions.   Part of me wants to cherish the moments I still have with Bob, and part of me just wants this rollercoaster ride to be over.

But during this season of thankfulness, I would like to express some of the things I am thankful for.

I am happy I can sleep at night.
I am happy that I still have good health and stamina.
I am happy that Bob doesn't know to ask to come home with me when I leave, like Dennis Moore does.
I am so happy I have such a great support group where I can talk to people that are in the same boat.
I am so happy that I have such a great support network of family and friends.
I am thankful for the care that hospice gives me and Bob.  What would I do without them?
I am thankful for the facility where Bob resides and for the loving care that he gets each day.
I am thankful for ice cream.  Bob likes plain vanilla.  Make mine butter pecan or maple walnut!
And yes, I am thankful for, and cherish the moments I still have with Bob.

And I am thankful that there is a faithful, never-changing God in control.  Every day begins and ends with His purpose.  Every moment of our lives is in His constant care.
Happy Thanksgiving!
Betty