Tax day has come and gone, and I am a happy woman!  For the first time in many years, we got a refund!  It is a dubious joy, as the reason for the refund is that I was able to deduct Bob's care.  But it was over a month's rent at The Piper, and that is not to be sneezed at.  Just the fact that we got a refund at all is cause for celebration!
I traveled to the beautiful state of Tennessee to be with the grandkids while they were on Spring break.  It was a breath of fresh air (if you could remove all the pollen) from the hiccuping that we are experiencing here as Miss Spring tries to make her appearance.  The redbuds and dogwoods were blooming, and I sang at full voice to CDs that are my favorite, as there was no one with me to cringe.
When I walked in to see Bob the day I got back, he said, "Well, where have you been?"  I about fell over!  Was he just greeting me as a figure of speech, or did he actually miss having me come, and know I had been gone?  I told him I had been to see the grandkids, but there the interaction ended.
This blog will be Part I of the highlights from a lecture I heard at The Piper by Connie Michaelis, who is Lifestyle Consultant at The Piper.  Part II will be my next blog, and will cover the options that are available.  It is so important to start planning ahead and not be the proverbial ostrich that sticks its head in the sand, and denies that lifestyle changes must necessarily take place as we age.  So saying, the best laid plans of mice and men oft go awry, and one needs to be flexible to adapt to the change--not easy for an older person.
I have been taking my 86 year old friend Arlene Magruder around to see different facilities just to get a feel for what is out there, and hopefully that can help in the decision making process.  It is so important to get ahead of emergencies, and have strategies in place, so you won't be unprepared or surprised.
Your home is your happy place; a place of safety and security.  Connie says belongings aren't what define you as a person.  After much contemplation on that statement, I respectfully disagree.  Our possessions are the fabric of our lives.  Is this who I am?  No, this is who I was.  Yes, I am something (somebody) else today.  But we are in the prison of our ribbons, Connie says.  Yes I am!  I have one wall lined with photos I took and entered in the SMMC photo contest and there are ribbons hanging next to them!
The trip to the South was a little emotional.  A friend from high school days was in the process of downsizing.  She cherished a dining room set that her grandmother had in Italy, yet in the downsize there was no place for it, and she had to give it up.  The set had made its way to this country and I have participated in gatherings at that table.  (The bright spot is that I was given a wonderful tablecloth and napkin set that I have already used and will cherish.)
It made me think about my own downsizing.  I will admit, I enjoy being in our house surrounded by all the souvenirs we collected in our travels.  No one else will value those like I do.  And how could I just throw my childhood dolls and china tea set that is in the basement in the trash?  I still have my dollhouse furniture that went to Africa and back when my parents were missionaries, along with the forenamed dolls and tea set.  I never had a dollhouse as there was never room for one, and it wouldn't have survived all the moves.  So when we moved into our current home, I bought a dollhouse for the furniture, and the grandkids have fun playing with it.  So I have decided to stay in our home as long as possible, and then when the time comes to downsize, have an estate sale, and not be present when it is going on.  Hopefully I will be on a trip somewhere!  And in the meantime, I will enjoy my possessions!
Yes, I realize that the time will come when the priority is to take care of just yourself and let go of collections.  There are several men I know that have model train collections, and all the joy and work they have put into them are very important.  One new resident at The Piper has 200 engines.  They are home with his wife, but he has pictures in his room of his layout (that even included an outdoor layout that covered his entire yard.)  Bob collected stamps and had collected them since 1970.  Someone at the General Conference told him the collection would greatly increase in value and be worth a lot of money someday.  (Beware of taking someone's word at the GC as the gospel!) He saved sheets of stamps, plate blocks, first day covers, all neatly stored and cataloged.  They took up a lot of room.  So recently I decided the collection was one thing I could downsize and hopefully sell when I could do it at my leisure.  Was I ever shocked!  I checked with local companies, and buyers and sellers as far away as Chicago, and they all told me the same thing.  They aren't worth the paper they are printed on anymore.  They said to just start using them for postage, you will get more worth out of them.  I can never use them up in this lifetime, especially when there is not much use for snail mail anymore! The albums they are in are worth more than the stamps!  Here I was hoping to get at least a month's rent at The Piper for them!  Silly me!  But that is the hardest thing I have done, is to start tearing those stamps at the perforations (and licking them!) and using them as postage.  A package to a grandchild recently had the whole top of the package covered in stamps.  It was colorful anyway!  I am just glad Bob doesn't know about this happening, as he was so proud of his collection.
Bob also collected clocks.  They are all over our home.  Most of them had to be wound, and I forbade him to wind them, as they all would chime at different times and different volumes, which was NOT good for a day sleeper.  Or night sleeper for that matter!  That brings to mind this poem:

The clock of life is wound but once, and no man has the power to tell just when the hands will stop,
at late or early hour.
Now is the only time you own.  Live, love, toil with a will, place no faith in time.
For the clock may soon be still.
--Robert H. Smith

When that day comes, collections and "stuff" will be meaningless.  So in the meantime--enjoy!
Betty